5 Gifts to Please Your Cheese Loving Cancer Friends

In my Taurus roundup, I spoke of the time in a horoscope writer’s life when one must reckon with her own sign as one of great magnitude. Now we come to another crucial moment in a horoscope writer’s life, potentially even more important in its gravitas: that when said writer must reckon with her editor’s sign. Could I have simply asked her for her Cancerian recommendations? Probably, if she knew that I knew she was a Cancer, which was research I took upon myself. But what fun would that be?

Now, had she been a Leo, or a Libra, or a Scorpio, this would probably be less of a deal as any of those signs would have just enjoyed the attention, but Cancers are infamously sensitive people. The first of the water signs, they know no boundaries and feel with great depth. This makes them excellent friends. As a moody sign with a crab glyph, however, it is easy to characterize them as simply “crabby,” but Cancer’s capacity to hold a grudge is also legendary. They may forgive, but they don’t forget, which makes them dangerous adversaries.

But! I have been thrown another Zodiacal bone here, and the stars are again going to totally help me out with this one. When I was able to utilize Gemini as a metaphor for cheese pairings, I was pretty excited. But here’s another bit of unexpected astrological poetry: Cancer’s ruling planet is the moon. The MOON! The big cheese itself. A celestial body so close to ours that it affects the earth’s tides so it’s no wonder poor Cancer feels pulled in all directions…but I digress. The moon, in folklore, was thought to be made of cheese. Given that, plus Cancers’ capacity for great emotion, here are 5 gifts to please your cheese loving Cancer friends, the cheesiest among us.

 
Beecher's Flagship Cheese

Beecher’s Flagship Cheese

There are plenty of cheeses with “moon” in their name, which I must imagine in certain cases is an homage to the aforementioned moon/cheese lore thing, and which we will also get to here, but let’s be honest, if the moon were actually made of cheese, it would probably be this one. Beecher’s Flagship is a bright, cow’s milk, 15-month-aged, crumbly cheddar wonder that was basically born to serve mac and cheese, which is the very definition of the kind of comfort sensitive Cancers crave. Also, if the moon were actually made of Beecher’s, I can think of no better reason for space travel. Give NASA whatever budget they require.

 
Cypress Grove Midnight Moon

Cypress Grove Midnight Moon

My rising sign is Cancer, which governs first impressions, so I’m going to leverage that to talk about one of my best first impressions, and one that has solid Cancer sensibilities. Midnight Moon, Cypress Grove’s nutty, aged goat gouda, was the first “fancy” cheese I loved on the spot. (Now I teach and write about cheese. Thank you, Midnight Moon, for being the guiding light.) Its sea salt caramel-like flavor is comforting and approachable, and its bright, ivory goat’s milk paste is nothing if not actually luminous (as far as cheeses go.) 

 
Perrystead Dairy Moonrise

Perrystead Dairy Moonrise

In my Cancer roundup for sister site Alcohol Professor, I spoke more about Cancer’s relationship to the sun and the summer solstice than I did about the moon as its ruling planet. In that case, I chose a beer called Dayfall. So it’s fitting here to have a companion cheese called Moonrise. (I dare say they’d make an excellent pairing.) Philadelphia’s new wunderkind Perrystead Dairy speaks Cancercian language with their description of this as a “pocket sized,” washed rind cheese. (I’d sooner keep a cheese in my pocket than a stone as a protective amulet.) For gently wafty Moonrise, cheesemaker Yoav Perry blends traditional rennet cultures with thistle rennet for a silky textured cheese whose spring is as close as most of us may come to experiencing the sensation of walking on the moon. 

 
I Heart Cheese cookbook

I Heart Cheese: 60 Ooey, Gooey, Delicious Meals for Serious Cheese Lovers by Mihaela Mitaxa-Albu

Listen, I was really tempted to make the lit selection “Who Moved My Cheese?” for Cancer but then A) I wouldn’t really get to talk about cheese in this paragraph, which is sort of my job here, and B) see above about accidentally acquiring Cancer adversaries. (I still might do it for Virgo, though.) Instead, I offer a cheese text that goes deep to the emotional heart of cheese as Cancers like to do: “I Heart Cheese…” by Mihaela Mitaxa-Albu. It’s fun to read about the what, who, and when of cheese, or how to design it on a cheese plate, but at its core, what we love the most about cheese is how we feel when we eat it. Cancer understands that better than anyone, as they feel all the feels. These 60 recipes organized by cheese style are a worthy, cheesy undertaking.

 

Crabby Shack Mac & Cheese

Lobster mac and cheese gets all the hype, but for my taste crab is a superior filling, and is a handy end to any argument that cheese and seafood don’t belong together. They definitely belong together. Cancers are the cheesiest.